For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbour as yourself.” – Galatians 5:14 (NIV)
That’s a powerful verse, and it’s echoed throughout the Bible. I’m sure you find it easy to love others. Family can be challenging, and kids can drive us crazy, but at the end of the day, we still love them. Loving others often feels ‘easy.’
But how well do you love yourself?
How many times have you thought things like:
- “That was a dumb thing to say.”
- “How could I have been so stupid?”
- “I’m so fat.”
- “My nose is too big.”
- “I’m so ugly.”
- “I’m so stupid.”
- “I’m not smart enough.”
These negative self-statements are often repeated in our minds. We wouldn’t dream of saying such hurtful things to our friends or family, yet we have no problem telling them to ourselves. Why is that?
Society has conditioned us to believe we aren’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, etc. It teaches us that if we don’t meet specific standards—like height, weight, or skin color—there’s something wrong with us.
What about when we keep replaying past mistakes in our minds? We might bring up old, painful memories even around friends or family. Often, they have forgiven and moved on, but we can’t stop dwelling on those past hurts because we haven’t forgiven ourselves yet. And what about feeling like God can’t love us if we don’t love ourselves, especially when we believe our past sins are unforgivable?
Why do we fall into this trap of negative self-talk, especially as Christians? God doesn’t want us to believe these lies! Consider Psalm 139:13-15:
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” – Psalm 139:13-15 (NIV)
Did you catch that? We are fearfully and wonderfully made!
But let’s face it: we’re human, and fighting against self-sabotage and negative self-talk can be challenging. This struggle makes it difficult to show ourselves the love and grace God wants us to embrace.
What Is “Self-Love”?
First, let’s clarify our definition of self-love. In the dictionary, it can carry a negative connotation, meaning an excessive regard for one’s advantage.
That’s not what we’re discussing here. We’re talking about self-love as not beating yourself up for past mistakes or loving what you see in the mirror—regardless of skin color, size, or weight. It’s about accepting ourselves—flaws and all—just as God accepts us.
So, how can you accept that God loves you even when you don’t love yourself? It’s not always easy; I understand the struggle. However, it becomes easier over time if you’re willing to work on it.
Here are some tips to help you start accepting God’s love, even when you don’t love yourself:
- Look Up, Not Around: Society often leads us to believe that if we don’t meet specific criteria—like height, skin color, or wealth—there’s something wrong with us. But God’s love isn’t based on our income, the car we drive, or the vacations we take. These earthly measures don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Stop comparing yourself to others, and remember who you are in Him.
- Meditate on His Word: The best way to accept God’s love is to immerse yourself in His Word. Pick a topic you’re struggling with, such as self-love, and find answers in the scriptures. You can use BibleGateway.com to search for relevant verses or open your Bible and read. Trust that the words you see are what you need to hear that day.
- Do Something for Yourself: Contrary to popular belief, it is not selfish to take time for yourself. God wants you to take care of yourself. Whether it’s once a week or 15 minutes a day, make time for activities that nourish your soul—like taking a quick walk, reading a book, listening to music, or writing in a journal.
- Follow a Healthy Diet: Prioritizing your body’s nourishment plays a key role in fostering self-love. Eating well contributes to your overall well-being and helps improve your mindset.
By embracing these practices, you can start to see yourself through God’s loving eyes rather than through society’s critical lens.